The Ick List

We all have them—here are some recent offenders

Every now and then, I’m reminded of just how many small things in life give me the “ick.” Not big, world-ending offenses. Not things worth starting a fight about. Just those little quirks, habits, and choices that make me stop and think, oh no… absolutely not.

A few recent offenders (according to the ongoing list in my Notes app):

• Creepy pottery. There’s artisanal, and then there’s “this mug looks like it was possessed in a past life.” If it feels like it might start chanting at midnight, it doesn’t belong in my cabinet. Also who want to drink from a rough rim of a mug?

• Silicone wedding rings. I know, I know sweetie… they’re “practical.” So are zip-off hiking pants, but you don’t see me wearing those to dinner.

• Dome lids on a drink that doesn’t require it. I said I wanted caffeine, not a plastic snow globe. These lids were made for Slurpees, okay??

• “Right” as a filler word. “So we walked in, right, and the line was so long, right, and then we had to wait, right?” Wrong. All wrong. It almost feels condescending, borderline mansplaining to me. Major ick.

• Peak vs. peek. It’s not that hard. If you invite me for a “sneak peak,” I will, in fact, sneak away.

• Anyone calling me “dude” or “man.” I think it is my toxic masculinity trauma speaking, but I am neither your college roommate nor your surf instructor. Call me literally anything else.

• The text excuse. “Sorry, I didn’t see your text.” Or my personal favorite, “I was taking a break from my phone.” Sweetie, you posted three Instagram stories. You saw it.

• Chronic lateness. Once in a while, fine. But when tardiness becomes your “thing”? No. I am in therapy for my aversion to people being late, so please don’t add to it. Your personal brand should not be wasting other people’s time.

The beauty of the ick list is that it’s different for everyone. Mine probably reads like nitpicking to some, but that’s the fun of it. The tiniest details often reveal the biggest truths about what we value, what we notice, and what we simply cannot abide.

So, what’s on your ick list? Tell me in the comments below
-Spence